Friends, my heart is heavy as I write this post.
It's been just four days since a wonderful friend and neighbor of mine, Steve Lacey was killed by a drunk driver. The family left to pick up the pieces: lovely wife Nabila and two young children ages 7 and 5, Steve's parents and sister, and Nabila's parents and sisters– all innocent victims with their lives torn apart because someone chose to get drunk on a Sunday and get behind the wheel.
I was with Nabila at her home that day, probably during the time the accident occurred– but of course we had no idea. I remember asking where Steve was and Nabila cheerfully replied (the woman is always cheerful) that he was at Costco getting Mexican Coke and bananas. Time ticked by and she hadn't heard from her husband. I remarked that he was probably picking up her birthday gift (Nabila's birthday is next week).
Meanwhile my son and her son– best buddies– played away. I finally grabbed Max late that afternoon to do some errands. Now all I can think is Why couldn't I have waited a few minutes longer? Then I would have been by her side when the police car pulled up. When the minutes felt like days. When the Chaplin arrived and walked up to the door. And when my sweet friend's life and the lives of her babies changed forever.
I am so deeply saddened. I feel like someone punched me straight in the heart and I am not alone. In the hours and days after the accident, our street and community (all over the world) have come together to support Nabila and the kids. This tragedy is literally too close to home. We all go on little errands for our families. We all assume we have much more time.
It's incredible how you can know people, like people, share a smile and a quick chat– and then something like this happens and you get to see a part of them that's simply amazing. The strength, thoughtfulness, and generosity of the Lacey family's friends is heartening. It's like a mountain made out of love built for this little family and I believe it's the reason why they are getting through these awful times.
Meanwhile, the suspect who got wasted (3x the legal limit), put himself behind the wheel of a car, allegedly got embroiled in a road rage incident (with some unknown individual) and decided to drive off a highway exit at high speed and slam into my friend– is left to live his life. Under Washington state's DUI Laws, the maximum sentence is 5 years in prison. The sentence in this state for Murder 1 or Murder 2 is 12-20 years.
How does that make sense? If a person got drunk, walked into a public place, and shot and killed a random person– it's up to 20 years in jail. If an intoxicated person gets behind the wheel and their weapon is a car– the maximum sentence is 5. The sentencing for this crime does NOT make sense. That's my painful realization.
Please keep my friends in your thoughts and prayers. A wife is has been robbed of her best friend and husband. A son and a daughter have been cheated out of a lifetime with a loving father. This preventable tragedy could have happened to any of us.
For more information on Steve you can visit his memorial page on Facebook.
Thanks for your support.
Love,
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. What a tragic loss.
Oh my. I read this story in the paper and was saddened. Now, I know someone who knew him. Life is so fragile!
Malia, I am so sorry about the loss of your friend Steve. Please know my heart goes out to his family and friends like you who are hurting so much. I lost my aunt to a drunk driver 11 ys ago this month. My uncle almost died as well but survived the accident. In our state, the offender was sentenced to I think 25 years in jail. Can’t believe what you’ve said about your state’s sentencing laws – not right. Thank you for sharing this with us and know you are not alone. God bless, Laurie from Scene of the Grime
I am so sorry for your loss and hate to say that I too have lived through this pain. My uncle was killed by a 18 year old drunk driver several years ago. I will be praying for this family.
Your fiend and her children and you are in my prayers. So sorry for their pain and loss.
Thakns for letting us share in the grief.
Oops! meant to type friend…
This is absolutely heart wrenching. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. His family will be in my prayers. It’s amazing how many innocent people are killed by irresponsible drivers who decide to down as many as they want and then get out on the road with not a care for the lives of others. It’s disgusting how easily these people get off even though they HAVE committed murder.
I’m so so so sorry. I was shocked when I saw this on the news because I had been just near there that afternoon. So senseless. I can’t begin to imagine the emotions the family is going through. I hope they know that there are many of us in the community who hold them in our hearts.
Malia, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your friend. How truly tragic and senseless these accidents are. My beloved nephew lost his life to a drunk driver 17 months ago. As our family has picked up the pieces of our lives from this loss, it’s the support of friends and family that have helped us move forward.
The driver of the car was a soldier. The military courts handled the sentence. He’s serving 10 years for killing two soldiers, which effectively makes it 5 years each. It truly does not seem like enough time. The sad truth is that no amount of time behind bars seems adequate punishment.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and the Lacey Family as you all grieve for Steve. My very best friend has been widowed for 7 years now. I know how important it is to be there for Nabila. Your strength and support will mean everything to her.
I am saddened to hearthis and so sorry for your loss and the loss of your friend and the children’s loss. So sad, so senseless … praying for you and them during this difficult time!!
Well written Malia. A beautiful commentary on a tragic loss. Why is my struggle as well.
At this difficult and heart felt sorrow my prayers are with you and Steve’s family and friends.
Very sorry to hear, the syncing is crazy but that person will live the rest of his life knowing what he did, hopefully that will be punishment all in itself.
So terribly sorry for your friend’s loss. I will keep them in my thought and prayers.
So sorry for your loss, Malia. What a terrible tragedy. Please know that you are in my thoughts.
I am so sorry such a terrible thing have to happened to your friend. I do agree some times the laws unable to heal broken hearts. Prayers for the families.
Meijo – PC
I am so sorry to hear about this. I am SO SORRY you’ve lost a friend and your neighbor has lost her husband and their children lost their father.
Many hugs and prayers to you and the family.
I don’t understand the sensibility towards drunk driving punishment either. It saddens me. I think this is why I joined MADD too. A friend of mine had her 17 year old daughter taken away by a drunk driver, just as she was pulling into her own drive way! I heard the entire accident and to this day the sound of it is shocking. I will be praying sincerely for her and her children to help get them through this.
I’m so sorry to hear about this tragedy. Sending thoughts to his family and yours.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend. Words cannot express the deep sorrow I feel for his family. So very sad………and avoidable. I’ll keep his family in prayer.
Big hugs………….
I am so very sorry for your loss! Such a crime! I totally agree with you. (((hugs)))
Oh sweetie that is tough stuff. What a Sad Sad thing. I agree.. when things like this happen so close.. we really realize how it can happen to any of us. Someone who doesnt care about anyone or anything can drink, get behind the wheel and take it all away from us. I agree… what’s the difference a gun for a weapon or a car!! My heart breaks for you friend and her children. Keeping them (and you) in my thoughts and prayers. Vicki
My heart hurts for everyone involved…I can’t even fathom this :(
You are all in my thoughts and prayers
I’m so sorry to hear that Malia. I’m praying for the family to have our Lord give them some sort of comfort and peace. I pray that you are surrounded by his love too.
Hugs…Tracy
oh I’m so sorry for your loss & Steve’s family!
Thinking of you & praying…
Hi Malia, no words can express my sympathy for the loss that you and this dear one’s wife and family is experiencing. I pray for God’s comfort for you all!!
Malia, my thoughts and prayers are with you. That is so sad and such a wasteful tragedy. No sense to drinking and getting behind the wheel of a car. Just doesn’t make much sense. Please give your neighbor my prayers.
I am so sorry to hear about this. Things like this don’t make any sense and are so difficult. It is so hard when people make such poor choices that ultimately end another persons life. I pray that this family as well as yourself will feel some comfort and peace during this difficult time.
God Bless you all with strength.
Shauna
myshaenoel.blogspot.com
What a heart wrenching loss. I agree, it just doesn’t make sense. 5 years? Those sweet children won’t even be adults yet when the drunk driver gets out. Please know that prayers are being said now for Steve’s family and for yours too. My heart goes out to you all.
There are no words on how horrible this is.. it makes my sick..
My Prayers and thoughts are with you all sweet friend.
deeply sorry for your loss and your dear friend… will keep you in my prayers..
hugs, anne
So heartbreaking & so senseless. I’ll be praying…