Losing a (Very) Loved One

My father-in-law Arnold passed away a week ago.  He was so many things but the quality that comes to mind is that he was so interested in life and in living.  

He was born in 1921 and his parents were financially solid until the Great Depression hit. Their drycleaning businesses couldn't survive.  Arnold found himself making deliveries and being the "muscle" for the new family grocery business.  

Later, he served in WW II as an accountant– he hadn't gone to college yet but was so naturally good with numbers that's where he landed.  He saw a lot of the world during that time.

Back in the states, he met and married my mother-in-law, Vivian.  They were husband and wife (and best friends) for 52 years.  Together, they successfully raised three children.

Arnold had a number of careers including rare coin dealer and stockbroker.  He was truly a self-made man.

After retiring, Arn and Viv traveled to Israel and Italy, saw their kids start their own families… and enjoyed life to the fullest. 

He passed away suddenly at age 88.  Arn had just begun to show any signs of "aging."  His hip bothered him and we recently learned he had a condition similar to bladder cancer.

My father-in-law spent the last day of his life with Viv and their three children.  After suffering a heart attack, things were looking up.  From his hospital bed, he was completely present mentally, asking the Doctors questions and enjoying having his family around.

Arn and Viv visited us from Chicago last Thanksgiving.  Always interested in new things, "Papa Arnie" experienced Wii bowling with Max (loved it) and enjoyed the best salsa he'd ever had (his words) at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

Arn was frugal but appreciated quality.  He was also an optimist which is why he bought a new Honda Accord a couple years ago and recently picked up an Apple laptop.

What did he leave behind?  In addition to the family, a life beautifully lived.  He never said anything he didn't mean which made a compliment priceless.  He didn't waste a single thing.  Even after getting a new pair of pants or shoes (on sale of course!) they would literally stay in his closet until the current ones wore out.  He refused to ever feel sorry for himself.  He'd say "You play the hand you're dealt."  And he did.

What will I miss about him?  Little things.  His voice on the answering machine when he and Viv would leave me a "Happy Birthday" duet.  Those kind words I received from him over the years especially when he told me I was a good Mother and when he simply said "You're a good girl Malia."  The sound of pride in his voice when talking about my husband, his siblings or any of the grandkids.

He earned the nickname "The Bull" growing up on the South Side of Chicago and he was just that.  So strong physically, mentally and morally.  I am fortunate in that my father-in-law was also my friend.  I loved him.  With my husband, I'll keep Arn's spirit alive for my children– and for myself.